When my mother was married the taste of her mothers’ milk was still fresh on her tongue...

  Because of her young age, at her wedding there was no rejoicing, only sadness and  tears. Sometimes I look at my mother and cry because her life has been so difficult. Despite this, God is kind. My family moved from a village into this neighborhood when I was around twelve. My father has white hair and can not work. He has poor health, and my mother is weak as well. They have no sons, only daughters. None of us were able to go to school because there was too much work to do at home. My mother is illiterate. My father can sound out the Arabic words in the Quran, and taught me the prayers at home when I was small, however he can not read the signs in the city. The only work he can do is to clean the nakhut (chickpeas) in our home. I learned how to do embroidery from the daughter of my mother’s brother. I embroider men’s clothing in my home. A man comes and brings me the pieces to do, and when they are finished he sells them in the bazaar for profit. The money for me is not good, but it is the only opportunity I have. My other sisters are all illiterate and without work. I love attending this course. My teacher is kind and good. She is from a good family, and she is like a mother to her students. I missed two days of class because our family has guests, but today I told my mother I had to return to class because I was so lonely for my teacher and classmates! I enjoy reading my lessons, and now am able to understand signs in the city. The chance to have this class is a big kindness to us.

 ---Najiba lives in a Hazara village about twenty minutes out of the city. She is a Sayeed, and her family’s home is face to face with the Shiite mosque.

Currently Juno (Single-Disc Edition) By Jason Bateman, Emily Perkins, Allison Janney, Jennifer Garner, J.K. Simmons see related

        Ah daughter, to tell you the story of my life would fill many books. But who would care to hear my story?

               My Father is from Kabul, but I was born here. When I was a baby my mother died, and my father took another wife. I was only allowed to go to school until the third grade. My father was not a good man. He commanded me to wear the burqa and did not give me permission to leave the house- even to go to school. The books for the third grade were taken from my hand. I was given in marriage when I was young, and my husband died when I was nineteen or twenty, leaving me with only a young daughter. My father refused to take me in again or give me help because he now had a new wife and other children to think about. Later this second wife also died and now he has a third wife. The family of my step-mother is rich, but they also refused to help me.

               I fled to Pakistan with some other relatives. We traveled there by horse, and the journey took us three days. We lived in a refugee camp for nine years, and life was very difficult. We returned to Kabul and I lived with the family of my sister. One day the Taliban stormed into our home and demanded everything by force. By the time they left they had taken and destroyed all that we had. They even opened up our sacred Quran in order to leaf through all the pages searching for money that might be hidden inside. Nothing was left. It was like a wind had come and blown everything away. After they had gone we sat and cried. What else could we do?

               I returned to the city of my birth khushk- dry, empty and alone. Again I asked my father to take me in and again he refused. He told me my only solution was to give my young daughter in marriage and then perhaps I would be able to live with the husband of my daughter.  I love my daughter, and in the entire world I have no one besides her, but what other solution was there for me? Praise God my daughter’s husband is a good man, and he allows me to live with them. However, my life depends on the generosity of this man. Whether he is angry or happy I am compelled to work with my daughter to cook, clean, care for the home, wash his clothes and do any other work that needs to be done. Nevertheless, I am grateful.  God has taken care of us.

Currently The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency (Book 1) By Alexander McCall Smith see related

Happy News!

 (Note: Anders' proposed Sat. Dec. 13th... and this note was written shortly after that)

I flew back to the States last Tuesday and spent my first two nights
near Portland where Anders moved a few months ago for work. I stayed with a Korean family that Anders has been sharing Christ with over the past few months. It was great to be able to see where Anders lives, and also meet some of his new friends as well. From Portland I flew back to Spokane on Thursday, and Anders followed Friday evening after he got off work.

Saturday morning I had a few Christmas errands to run, so Anders said
he'd like to take me out to breakfast before we started shopping. We
went to the "Skyway Cafe," which is a cute little cafe near the
airport hanger where Anders did his training with Moody Aviation.
Then, we bought some Christmas gifts and dropped off a roll of Anders'
film for one hour development. I said it was silly to go somewhere
else and return later for the film...it was just an hour and we coul
just look around etc etc... Little did I know that the final pictures
on the roll were of my ring, which is why Anders really really didn't
want me to see the pictures! :)

Finally, Anders persuaded me that we could go to Bowl and Pitcher
while we waited for the film (a beautiful national park on the Spokane
river where we have gone on several hikes in the past.) It was
absolutely, stunningly beautiful at the river. (and absolutely
freezing too...) I was completely caught off guard and stunned when
Anders asked! Usually, it is impossible to surprise me but I honestly
was not suspecting a proprosal on Saturday at all! He said all sorts
of wonderful things, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I
said yes, and he slipped the most beautiful diamond ring on my finger.

Afterwards, we thawed out with pepermint mochas at the Starbucks where we first got to
know each other and called family to share the exciting news. Anders graciously gave up his plans of another walk at some of our favorite places in Spokane so his jet
lagged fiancee could have a nap. (Seeing as I'd been wide awake since
3:30 am that morning!) That evening we went downtown to the Davenport
hotel for the Christmas Tree Elegance display and for dessert. Next
weekend, when the roads are hopefully less trecherous and I have had
proper amounts of sleep Anders will come back and we will finish the
celebration with dinner in Coeur d'Alene.

I am so happy and filled with joy at how God has brought this about.
These past two years have been such an incredible journey for both of
us as individuals and also together. I should not be surprised that
the Giver of good gifts would choose to bless me in this way, but I
am. Thank you for the part that you have played in the journey through
your friendship, prayers, wisdom, listening ears and encouragement.
You are loved!

To answer a few common questions: I still head back to Central in early
January, and Lord willing, will finish out my term and return to the
States in May. We are looking at an August or early Sep. wedding, but
not entirely certain. We both desire to serve in Asia in the
future, but are looking at maybe two years stateside before going back
overseas.

Currently Watching Grace Is Gone By John Cusack, Alessandro Nivola, Gracie Bednarczyk, Shélan O'Keefe see related

A time to speak, and a time to refrain from speaking...

This morning I went with my assistant to visit the homes of three of my literacy teachers. The door to the home of the last woman we came to visit was being repaired, so she invited us to climb in through the window! We did, and settled in for a little chat before proceeding with our business. (which is the only way to proceed with business in much of the world, I suspect!) This teacher has a particularly difficult life. Her husband earns little and she has many children to feed. She is seven months pregnant with twins, but still wishes to abort her babies. I think that at this point it is simply idle talk, but I know that with six hungry mouths to feed already, there is no true desire in her heart for more children. My assistant chided her for this desire and reminded her that killing her children would be a big sin. She is exhausted, ragged and desperate. I felt a deep compassion for her and the complexity of her situation. Yes, children are a gift from God. Yes, God sees everything and chose to give them to her. Saying these things sound so trite though. Who am I to speak? I who has never known hunger. I who will never give birth on a dirt floor because I do not have the money to pay for a doctor. I who as a Western woman can choose when to have children, and when to stop. I thought of my cleaning lady who desired for years and years for a child, before finally being able to adopt the son of a relative. My driver is also desperate for a child. His wife’s arms ache to hold a baby of her own. Yet this woman despairs of another, and God fills her belly not with one baby but two. Why? Some things I do not claim to understand...
She shared with us that she is fasting for Ramadan. I was surprised to hear this, because according to Islam she is not required to do so if she is either pregnant or nursing. However, if she doesn’t do so, she misses out on getting sawab. (blessing/merit) Often when people talk about cultural or religious practices that I disagree with I remain quiet. However, I decided this was a time to speak up. I asked her quite innocently if the two toddlers sitting on her lap were also fasting for the month. She started laughing, and said, “of course not! They are children.” I then said, “Do not laugh! I did not ask this question to makes a joke. Of course these children would not fast! But, when you decide not to eat or drink all day it is the same as forcing your unborn babies to fast. Do you think this pleases God?” I told her that this could be harmful for her babies, and before we left I repeated again that absolutely she should eat and drink. It was so difficult for me to see what bondage she is in. The fear of displeasing God…that if she does not fast she might not earn enough merit, atone for her past sins, and destroy any hopes she holds to that maybe someday she will be able to escape hell by her good deeds.

Currently Listening Our Endless Numbered Days By Iron & Wine see related

So, does this make me a feminist?

Two weeks ago I was sitting in a coffee shop in the capital city of the country where I work. A guy about my age sat down at my table and began making small talk. A few minutes into the conversation he asked me if the women I worked with (in the north of the country) are as ignorant as women in the people group that is primarily in the south of our country. I was caught off guard by his question, and thought perhaps I had heard him incorrectly. I asked him to repeat his question, which he did, and I realized he had really meant what he said. I told him that questions like that rankle me and bring my inner feminist to the surface. I told him that it was unfair to call a woman ignorant if the chance to learn had been snatched out of her hand. Further more, I thought it was an ethonocentric view point to call a woman ignorant because she has not been to school... when this same woman has vast storehouses of knowlege about hundreds of things that I will never begin to comprehend. To be honest, I was steamed. I took the first opportunity I could to disentangle myself from that conversation. I have joked around some with friends that living in Central Asia has turned me into a bit of a feminist. When I said it before I was mostly teasing, but I am beginning to wonder if there is some truth buried under the surface.  Later that day, I realized that I was still mulling over his question and the anger that it ignihted in my heart.  It was at that point that I decided to write down:

 The reasons that I am a "feminist"

• Because a woman should not be called ignorant because her father, uncles, brothers or husbands have denied her the chance to go to school or to even learn how to read
• Because a man should not feel that he has the right to grab or leer at a woman because she "committed the crime" of smiling in public
• Because the testimony of a man should not be worth twice as much a woman
• Because a woman should be able to honor her husband and  family without it requiring her to wear a blue sack that completely hides her and obliterates any distinctions or uniqueness which God has given her
• Because a girl who is raped is a victim- not the criminal
• Because thirteen year old girls belong in school and going to slumber parties, not being given in marriage to a man two or three times her age
• Because a man and a woman doing the same job to the same standards deserve the same pay
• Because a park, a restaurant, or a bus should be a public place where women as well as men are welcome
• Because a woman should not think that it is a sin to read or even touch her holy book or pray to God because of physical circumstances beyond her control
• Because a girl should not grow up thinking that her father has the right to beat her mother because she accidently burned the supper
• Because a woman should not be punished for giving birth to a girl instead of a boy
• Because a solution to paying off debts should not be selling your daughter into prostitution or marriage
• Because little girls and not just boys should be able to fly kites too!

So, I don't know... Perhaps the jury is still out... What do you think? Does this make me a feminist?